10/25/2005

English, PLEASE!!!

Few nights ago, i saw the Queer 5, the straight guy just can't stop keep saying "OH! God...have mercy!", this is the commend that he made to the make-overed house, that is interesting sentence to express the feeling of surprise~

I know we shouldn't said "OH! My God" or "OH! Jesus" this kind of things, that is called that Absurd GOD's Name, now i have an excuse to use this la, hahahahaha~

Today is my favorite day in a week. Well coz CULTURAL STUDIES is fun for me~ I've done quite a lot of work on the presentation and the essay, but not in a well process, i think i really don't know how to start, especially cooperate with my classmate, acturlly i don't think the result of presentation is good as i think, so i decided not to have any good expectation on this, but i will work hard on the essay, YEAH!!! GOD! PLEASE HELP TO FILL ME IN ENERGY AND MERCY, PLEASE!

I am quit nerviours about the FRIDAY presentation and also the report, i even don't think they really talked about it or manage the work and position, i used to spent a day to organize the information but now still stucked, OH! MY GOD HAVE MERCY MERCY MERCY MERCY MERCY!!!

LET ME HAVE A CHANCE TO HOLD IN A POSITIVE MIND TO MY FUTURE, PLZ!!!

10/22/2005

只是......改天吧

不如改天才生病,
再找個機會流下不該流的五官分泌物;
不如改天才從鏡子細看自己,
再細心地安慰著那些早己結疤的傷痕。

不如改天在乘車時懺悔,
其後讓自己利用呆滯的目光博取不配予以的寬恕;
不如改天在景物飛快地閃過眼前之時,
其後讓自己張合眼睛都只看見一個定了格的畫面。

不如改天去認識我,
趁著那恐怖又黑暗的角落漸漸吞噬你之前,後退一步,步出那門檻,那房間。

不過,也只是改天罷。




別註:
處於黑暗的街角,只好不斷後退來躲避
然而越往後退,那身影越走越近,那不安的距離卻無法驅使發出聲音
驚恐的瞳孔不斷放大,卻換來終結的吞噬
躺在冰冷的污水上,閉不上的目光只能呆滯地放在遠處的垃圾堆

10/04/2005

百感交集

返左學差唔多成個月,感覺其實幾enjoy,首次覺得返學其實都幾愉快,仲洋溢住少少幸福既感覺,一個折騰既暑假可以換一個更enjoy返學既心情,其實諗返都幾抵!哈哈~

唔知係咪開始feel到課業上既壓力,搞到有d想唔返工俾自已多d時間,不過你知我知個天都知我就算唔做份工都唔一定會用個d時間去做功課,鬼叫我懶開,無辦法,不過我會求問天父架啦,唔唔!

越大就越覺得自己既能力可以做到既野好少,當唔開心或者遇到抉擇越黎越會瑟縮一角,變得越黎越懦弱,好憎見到自己咁無用,但係無辦法,我知自己無辦法去解決乜野,但係越係咁就越唔會找天父,因為自己連面對既勇氣都無埋,仲記得有位朋友返黎之後同我傾計,佢個一句令我好深刻:『我仲記得你以前乜都夠膽死架喎,做乜而家會咁呢?』。

呢個世界好得意呀呵?一年話長唔長,話短唔短,但係一年裡面發生既野可以令你完全改變,最驚既係你唔知自己變成點。我認識既世界同一年前既世界又或者係幾年前既世界又有咩咁大既分別呢?幾年前都真係經典,絕對係里程埤,不過我再無前進過,好遺憾......我無力再前進......

好感慨,感慨到一個地步係覺得自己好似年華老去,但似又做唔到d乜野,覺得自己無乜機會去做任何野,雖然都不過係廿歲女,不過絕望到好似一個等死既老人咁,好奇怪既感覺,不過又好真實咁活在我既意識裡面。
我不嬲都好奇怪,我不嬲都係意識裡面早熟好多,人地中學好反叛好白痴,我就好似好settle,有時我諗我有無反叛期呢?都有既,幼稚園同小學囉,人地個個都乖到乜咁既,我就鐘意玩野,個個老師校長都記得我同我個妹,到中學同大專都無乜野,得個大笑惹人注意之外,都無乜野搞,年年都好靜咁過,好係廿幾歲既人去讀中學咁,癲極都有個譜,而家我估我都將近退休年齡啦,唉,唔怪得咁多唉聲嘆氣又尋啦。